Cleanses, Detoxes & Diets

So I bought a new diet book last week, I haven't even made a dent in it :/ part of the problem is that i'm not allowed to read on my lunch, wait let me rephrase that, all books have to be cleared by corporate and I know this book will not be cleared since I wasn't even cleared to work on a math worksheet on my lunch. Anyways the book is called the Perfect 10 Diet, it's gotten rave reviews because it works using your hormones which as we all know helps us lose and gain weight etc. Besides that this morning did not go well, as I previously posted my size 10 jeans ripped and I said maybe I should squeeze into the 8's, well lets just say I can't even get the jeans past my monstrous thighs and since I don't want to look gangsta (yes that is my word of choice) thankfully Brian's mom just agreed to put patches on the thighs so that I can still wear them until I lose my weight UGH as if the signs weren't obivous i'm still not motivated, how horrible am I if I can't even get motivated by a pair jeans that have ripped out because of my fat thighs. I did the 3 day diet last year before I went to Hawaii and I did lose weight on that, i'm thinking about maybe doing it again just to try and start this thing off, I keep backsliding, I tried the 21 day challenge and failed on day 1, Why can't I stick to things???? i'm losing precious time every day that slips by and I don't lose weight, Hawaii will be here before I know it and I will still be overweight and jiggly on the beach which I do not want, AND hopefully after that I will be planning my wedding and I don't wanna be overweight and jiggly in my dress. I mean maybe I need a partner again I don't know why is it so hard for me to say no to soda and chocolate and all those desirably bad things??? I know what they do to me I see it everytime I look in the mirror yet I still eat them, and in large amounts, this morning I had 4 swiss rolls and 1 cinnamon roll breakfast thing this morning BEFORE my bowl of honey nut cheerios (atleast that was healthy) and even now as I wrote that I was thinking I want another swiss roll.....Why isn't there some magical pill that makes everything you once thought tasted amazing taste horribly wrong. Like chocolate or soda or chinese food......especially chinese food because that is a HUGE weakness of mine..crab puffs and subgum chow mein (which incidentally I don't think is that bad because it's vegetables??? but maybe the sauce??) So we've covered diets and diet books but what about the cleanses and detoxes?? I made the mistake of doing a pill that gets rid of all of your water weight and well it wasn't pretty my advice if you ever do one is to just stay home all day and don't make any plans because you will be running to the toilet every 5 minutes! I never have actually done a cleanse but I did do a fitbody wrap at work which is supposed to detox/cleanse you, but I tell you what you have to make sure you have some kind of entertainment otherwise you are just laying in a pool of your own sweat listening to everyone talk outside of the room, btw it's 60 min long and I only made it to 50 min. I literally got out and when I stepped off the table all of the water that had collected in the foot of my awesome gown (btw for those of you who need a visual the suit is kind of like a mesh and it's a full suit complete with feet....think adult footy pajama's that are see through lol) poured out all over the floor, i'm not sure exactly how many calories I burned you can burn a minimum of 1400 in a single session depending on your body type. will I do it again? If I can afford it of course I will, it'll be great for Hawaii. Anyways I thought that would be a good idea to start off my new dietary lifestyle but nope. It doesn't matter, I bought Twilight and it came with popcorn and Sierra Mist which i've been consuming over the last few days......I also ate an entire totino's mini pizza, the kind you get for $1. not to mention all the reeses peanut butter cups as well, why is it so hard to give up, i'm seriously considering getting hypnotized. It takes 3 weeks I believe to break a habit? Or is it to form a new habit I can't remember...hold on i'm gonna google it...Okay actually it says it takes a month and a half to break a habit...holy crap so basically if I start today, well actually I can't really start today because I already ruined the habit, that means that means by the middle of April my habit will be broken, how did I do it last time????? I can't even remember to be honest but I was so good I would have cottage cheese and edameme for lunch and hardly ever touch a soda but now its gone i'm back to my old habits and I don't know how I can break them......does anyone out there have any thoughts or tips? I'm getting desperate to be honest, I wanna break this addiction to bad food and soda and chocolate for everytime i'm feeling down or upset or happy. I am not a dog I do not need to reward myself with food....