Go big or go…… To the ER?

I'll be honest this week was not the best week. You know the saying go big or go home? Well I went big and then I went home or more specifically to the ER. I was at the gym Monday evening and was doing my normal routine when I decided to switch to a different body part because the machine that I wanted to use was being used, I sat down and began to do seated rows with 150 pounds, everything was going fine when all of a sudden my chest started to hurt, I stopped what I was doing and stood up and begin to feel extremely dizzy. I honestly thought I was having a heart attack so I left the gym and headed to the emergency room. After a few minutes I was rushed into a side room because when you tell the front desk you're having chest pain they immediately get you back to perform an EKG to determine if you have had a heart attack. 

Once the EKG was performed I was left alone in the room to wait for the next available room in the ER, they didn't even bother to ask me to take off my shoes or pants because I was so dizzy and it was hard enough to try and take off my top and sports bra, every time I tried to sit up I felt more dizzy and nauseated, the worst part was sitting up to look for a vomit bag and not be able to find one in time causing me to vomit all over the floor. Normally I wouldn't bother the front desk and I would simply clean it up myself but being as dizzy as I was trying to stand wasn't working out very well so I imagine the embarrassment of having to watch housekeeping come in and clean up your vomit off of the floor.  Cut to 2 1/2 hours later and I was finally brought back to my room where an IV was started and I was given medication for my nausea after vomiting several more times. I'm thankful that my nurse was a woman because I was so dizzy that I didn't even notice that my boob was hanging out of my gown when she went to uncover me to attach me to the blood pressure cuff, I quickly apologized and she let me know that it was nothing she hadn't seen before but she just wasn't expecting it. (Well duh I wasn't expecting to have a single boob hanging out of my gown let alone that It would be on display for her) She probably thinks that I meant to flash her with the one boob out but I assure you I didn't 😐😳 

Anyways as if that wasn't embarrassing enough, I let her know that I really had to go to the bathroom since I've been holding it for almost 3 hours and she told me if I could wait the doctor would be in shortly so I waited another 20 minutes and finally decided I couldn't wait anymore, I page the nurse and ask her to come in and let her know I was a little bit dizzy so she may have to walk with me to the bathroom but after walking only two steps she said nope you're going to use a bedside commode. I looked at her with horror, as if it wasn't embarrassing enough to accidentally flashed her I now have to go to the bathroom in front of her. I sighed and said OK and sat back down, a few minutes later the initial nurse who brought me back to my room came in with the bedside commode and saw the look of embarrassment on my face and said that she would give me privacy and step out, needless to say I was completely relieved but that lasted shortly when I almost overfilled the hat that was inside the bedside commode, you never know sheer panic until you start to go to the bathroom and realize you had to go a lot more than you thought you did and you almost overfill the hat which would've then caused your urine to be spilled all over the floor, as if having to call housekeeping to clean up your vomit off of the floor wasn't enough now I'm asking them to come clean up my pee. Thankfully I stopped just in time and additional embarrassments did not ensue.

Finally my doctor comes in and begins to examine me and let's me know what we are going to do. First round of meds come through my IV and do nothing. 45 minutes go by and I let my nurse know they didn't help, cue the second round of meds.....by now I can successfully tell you how many holes are in the ceiling panels because although my nausea is gone I'm still super dizzy and I've been flat on my back for approximately 3 1/2 hours. 

And THEN the super cute radiology tech comes to take me for my chest X-ray......awesome I now look like complete crap because I'm sweaty, my breath probably smells like vomit, I can't sit up, my hair is a sweaty disheveled mess and I'm pretty sure my mascara is all over my face like I just came from a heavy metal concert. He proceeds to wheel me down the hall to X-ray and I do my best to try to act like I'm not wanting to burst into tears from the pain but when he tells me I need to stand up all logic goes out the window and I start sobbing. Once I get control he helps me stand up but thanks to my dizziness I pretty much end up looking like a drunk person and end up giving him a full body type awkward hug because he has to keep me from falling....again I have no bra on so cue the embarrassment. Thankfully he is very kind and professional and we get through the X-rays and I manage to get back onto the stretcher with some of my dignity left....

By now it's around 1:15am and my nurse has a surprise for me...dilaudid. It's sad when you are excited to finally get medication you know will help when the other 3 medications failed...... This brings my pain from an 8 to a 5 and I'm finally able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I've been here almost 5 hours and have yet to find out what is going on. And then my doctor comes in and drops a bomb on me....he's not 100% sure but it looks like there is a fracture on my clavicle... I'm like WHAT? He asked what I was doing when the pain started and I told him. He then goes yep that can cause it. He says he is still waiting for the radiologist to confirm but he did show another doctor and he also said that's what it looks like but he'll let me know soon ........I'm praying the entire time he's gone for it to be anything but......and then the door opens and I see it.....A SLING.......and not even a cool sling, it's a plain, ugly blue sling, at least make it different colors so I can coordinate! Come on people! Lol anyways for those of you who have never fractured your collarbone a.k.a. your clavicle it takes 4 to 6 weeks to heal and the first 2 to 3 weeks are the worst, so for the next three months I will not be allowed to do any weightlifting regarding the upper left side of my body. Now does that mean oh I'll just work out my right side him know I'm not going to be lopsided. Needless to say my lower body including my booty will be getting a lot of attention for the next three months, I will be seeing orthopedic surgeon soon and I do need to ask them about possibly doing crunches or other ab exercises and if I could possibly affect my clavicle because I am moving my arm which is attached to the muscles which is attached the tendons attached to my clavicle. But either way this is not going to stop me from going to the gym! So for now just be jealous of my awesome new accessory and by the way in case you were wondering what it looks like when you fractured your clavicle I'm attaching a picture hope youcan spot the difference between the right side and the left side PS I fractured my left side in case you were wondering. Until next time.

The Grass Is Not Greener....Words to live by

Sometimes life gets the better of us, let's face it, only the best photos make it to Instagram, for every one status posted on Facebook five get deleted. If you were to look at my Instagram right now it would be all gym, food and happy moments, it doesn't show the broken heart, the sore muscles, the sleepless nights and the daily struggles to find my purpose and make my mark. All of this is necessary for change, and sure if you were to look at anyone else's Facebook or Instagram you would see the same thing. You want their body, their marriage, their relationship......whatever it is they have and you don't. But here's a secret they won't tell you. The grass is greenest where you water it. It's personally taken me 6 long years to realize this. There is no easy road to weightloss or success in life. I see so many quick solutions to weightloss, waist slimmers (which btw did you ever look at the Victorians once they stopped wearing corsets? It's not pretty #smooshedorgans) the detox teas ( and yes I drink them but not in the hopes of quickly dropping 10lbs like the military diet, yes I've tried that too) 

Now back to the grass. Like I said, greenest where you water it. For a long long long time my grass was brown and I blamed everyone else. It was everyone else's fault that I ate poorly, didn't workout, made goals and plans and never followed through, I wanted someone else to pay my way, pay for rewards for goals I didn't achieve and I made so many scenarios about how I was gonna accomplish my weightloss goals your head would spin, I made deadlines and watched them creep by, I always said the next Monday, next week, next month I would start, I would change, I would be serious about my weightloss journey and guess what I lied to myself. Here I am a few months shy of my 31st birthday and although I've made some changes there is always more I could do to help my fitness journey and help inspire others, the only thing I'm inspiring right now is women to expand their workout wardrobes (lol) so what's the difference now you are asking? Well I've started watering my own grass. 

At the end of the day there may be one person out there reading this, struggling with their own weightloss journey, noticing how much greener everyone else's grass is. And I'm here to tell you what you see on Facebook and Instagram is a highlight reel you are comparing to your own behind the scenes. That 20lb weight loss didn't happen overnight and if it did I guarantee its water weight and it will come back. So just remember it's a marathon not a sprint and focus on your own grass and pretty soon people will be wondering how your grass is so much greener then theirs. 😉